Last week Eric and I went to the Train concert. I have always been a huge fan of theirs and could not wait to see them live! But, the song I was most looking forward to was Drops of Jupiter. Lately, I've really been able to relate to this song.
My breakdown was such a heavy experience that I often do not remember all of the events that took place. Some say its a way of my mind protecting me but regardless, it's a strange feeling. Because of this, I feel like the past year has been like a movie that I am merely watching, not directing. My depression and mind has had so much power against me that I would eventually succumb to it. Over the past year I have gotten five piercings, dyed my hair blonde, lost friends, had three different jobs, changed my major twice, moved twice, and have greatly struggled with my weight. Up, down, up, down, up. Doctors have told me I need to focus on my mental health before anything else but that doesn't mean it still doesn't bother me. I have had no control over myself and its a terrible feeling.
When Train closed their concert with Drops of Jupiter, I couldn't help but feel a sense of calming. This past year I had out of this world experiences and I am trying to get back. Every step on the treadmill or hair that turns back to my brunette shade is one more step closer to becoming the Megan I miss. As I write this, I am waiting at the lab to take a blood test to make sure everything's going swell. I am dedicated to closing this chapter of my life.
I'm still learning from the past year. I don't know what I learned from my Milky Way or my stay on the moon but I sure know I missed you all when I was gone.
Thank you for staying patient with me. The worst is over, now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.
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