Eric Rivers has been my best friend for about three years now. At first, he was this big popular football player who I had a massive crush on who never even talked to me. I remember the first time I met Eric. We were at a 'welcome to high school' kind of party at my aunt's house and he was introduced to me as 'pfaffy'. I snickered a little because who the hell would name their child Pfaffy? Anyway, eventually I was playing guitar hero alone (wow) and Eric walked up and commented on how good I was but said he could still beat me. Well, he challenged me, let me pick the song (When You Were Young by The Killers), and I TOTALLY beat him. 'Great, there goes my chance with that guy...'
As the years went by I would occasionally see him and say 'hi' or 'good luck at the game tonight!' or of course the ever important 'happy birthday' always hoping it would spark an interest in me. Well, it didn't. He would say 'thanks' and walk away in his football jersey looking ever so handsome.
Beauty and the Beast came along and I asked Eric to come over because I had never kissed a boy before and didn't want my first kiss to be in front of the whole cast during rehearsal. We spent hours talking. I had never been able to talk to a guy so easily, it was amazing. My crush was swelling quite quickly. Then the moment came. We had been eating otter pops - I had a blue one and he had a pink - he hugged me, and leaned down and kissed me. It was beautiful. As we stepped apart, he had this weird look on his face which wasn't very comforting for a girl who had just had her first kiss. Well, seconds later, he grabbed my face and kissed me once again. Now this kiss was different. It was a fireworks exploding, choir singing, doves flying away kind of kiss, but all I could think of was that HE KISSED ME! I didn't initiate anything, that was all him!! I could hardly contain my joy.
The rest is history. We became a couple, and item around campus. We were hardly seen without the other but I didn't mind. This guy was my best friend. We were voted homecoming king and queen, he asked me to prom at Disneyland, we had a picture perfect The Notebook kind of love.
Then I went to college. Eric and I had never experienced any problems in our relationship. People would ask me if we fought and honestly, the answer was no. We would have our bickering here and there but even to this day I have never been mad at Eric for more than an hour or so. We have it pretty easy. Well, the Fall semester of 2012 was the worst time in our lives. At first, our relationship was still the picture perfect high school relationship that we had been maintaining for the past two years, but then as time went on, it grew into something more. Something full of true devotion and love for the other.
Eric has never left my side through my depression. Even across the country in a small dorm room at NAU he tried his hardest to be the rock that I needed during my worst times. He would answer every single time I called him and would spend hours trying to give me the strength to simply get up and keep going. He would listen to be sob and he would draw me out of my worst lows. He would send me long text messages during the day about how much closer I was to coming home and that if anyone could make it through, I could.
The moment that truly changed our relationship was my severe panic attack in Bethesda, Maryland. Words cannot describe how vulnerable and truly terrified I was in that moment. Lying on the floor, shaking, sweating, hyperventilating, and uncontrollably sobbing, I had no idea what to do. I had lost control of my body. But for some reason, I knew everything was going to be okay. He was next to me, talking me through it, keeping me breathing, trying to calm me down, rubbing my back and trying to soothe me. When nothing worked, he picked me up and carried my limp body into the shower where he sat by my side until I came to. Sorry if that's graphic, but welcome to depression. And what was so amazing to me was that through it all - not a tear was shed in front of me. There was not a moment where I thought Eric was scared. For some reason, Eric kept it together and that made all the difference.
After that day, my world with Eric changed. We were no longer a cute couple but a mature couple who loves each other no matter what. I had never been as vulnerable with anyone, let alone Eric. Things started to get even more serious after I came home. He would visit about every other week to check in and make sure everything was okay. He would come surprise me at work and make my day. He would still hold me through the lows that never went away, and would ignore all the nasty things I would say in the moment.
I thank God everyday for my best friend. I honestly do not know what I would do without him. I know I say that a lot, but with Eric it is 100% true. He has been a source of hope for me in the darkest of times. He was there when my friends left me. He helped me move in when my depression told me to get my own place. He held my hand through every panic attack - including one in Dallas when I was meeting his family and one at my brothers wedding. And the greatest part is that he is still the guy wearing a UCLA t-shirt who kissed me that night, and it will never change.
I love you, Eric.
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